Caring for the Caregivers: A Conversation with Dr. Michael Gabriel of Carelon Palliative Care

Mark White | The Mark White Show

Clinton, Connecticut - November is National Family Caregivers Month and National Hospice and Palliative Care Month, a time to honor nearly 59 million Americans who provide unpaid care for loved ones every day. They balance work, family, and their own health while helping someone else live with dignity.

To shine a light on their challenges and the hope available, I spoke with Dr. Michael Gabriel, National Medical Director for Carelon Palliative Care, joining us from Clinton, Connecticut.

Who Is a Caregiver

As Dr. Gabriel explained, caregiving can take many forms.

“A caregiver is anyone providing assistance or support to someone who can’t completely do that themselves,” he said. “It might be temporary or ongoing, helping someone bathe, dress, or manage medication. It’s a broad definition, but it really boils down to helping someone.”

Many caregivers never label themselves that way. They simply do what love requires, but the emotional and physical toll can be immense.

Recognizing Burnout Before It Breaks You

“It’s hard enough to take care of ourselves,” I told him, “let alone someone else.”

Dr. Gabriel nodded to the signs families should watch for: irritability, fatigue, sleep loss, social withdrawal, guilt, or even resentment toward the role itself.

“Once you begin feeling like you’re not doing enough, or you start to experience regret or resentment, that’s a sign to focus on your own well-being,” he said.

Caregivers often carry a quiet stigma, the belief that asking for help means failing. But Dr. Gabriel says that asking for help is a form of strength, not weakness.

Finding Balance and Setting Boundaries

Dr. Gabriel compared caregiving to the airplane rule: secure your own oxygen mask first.

“To set boundaries, you have to know your limits,” he explained. “When your own life or relationships start suffering, it’s time to rebalance. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s how you keep going.”

I shared my own story, the guilt I felt leaving my father’s bedside during hospice care, only to turn around halfway home because my heart said I needed to be there.

Dr. Gabriel said that guilt is common, but it must be met with grace.

“You can’t pour from an empty cup,” he reminded. “Talk to someone you trust. Let your care team know where you’re struggling. Once you name it, you can begin to heal it.”

Understanding Palliative Care

When people hear “palliative,” they often think “end of life.” Dr. Gabriel wants to change that perception.

“Palliative care provides an extra layer of support to reduce medical and emotional stress for people living with serious illness,” he said. “It can start at any point, even alongside treatment. You don’t have to stop fighting your illness to receive palliative care.”

While hospice care focuses on comfort at life’s end, palliative care supports quality of life at any stage for both patients and families.

How Palliative Teams Work

Palliative care brings together doctors, nurses, social workers, and counselors who coordinate closely with a patient’s existing medical team.

“We don’t create silos,” Dr. Gabriel said. “We collaborate, talking early and often, sharing updates, preventing hospitalizations, and making sure care aligns with a patient’s wishes.”

This holistic approach often means fewer emergency visits, better pain control, and more peace for everyone involved.

The Difference It Can Make

Dr. Gabriel shared a recent story:

“We met a patient whose caregiver admitted, ‘This is the first time anyone’s asked how I’m doing.’ That one question opened the door to real change, the patient felt better, the caregiver felt seen, and the whole home atmosphere shifted.”

Sometimes the smallest act, asking and listening, can transform exhaustion into hope.

Where to Turn for Help

Dr. Gabriel encourages caregivers to explore these trusted national organizations:

• Family Caregiver Alliance

• Caregiver Action Network

• National Alliance for Caregiving

For those walking through advanced illness, heart failure, COPD, cancer, dementia, he recommends learning about palliative care early.

More information is available at Carelon.com.

Why He Chose This Work

When I asked what drew him to this field, Dr. Gabriel’s answer was simple:

“In medical school, someone came to speak about palliative care and it just clicked. This is medicine at its most human. It’s about empathy, communication, and meeting people where they are.”

He carries with him memories of patients who taught him what matters most: connection, comfort, and dignity.

A Word for the Caregivers

Before we ended, Dr. Gabriel had one final message:

“You are seen. What you’re doing matters. But in order to keep giving, take care of yourself, too.”

To every caregiver reading this, thank you. Your compassion is the heartbeat of countless families across America.

And to those who need help, there is no shame in asking. Support exists. Hope exists. You don’t have to carry it alone.